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Dec 12, 2012
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(cheers and applause) from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. bishop gene robinson is going to be here a all i know about religion is this: apparently he can only move diagonally. that's a chess move, baby. a bishop chess joke. let me just give you my lunch money now. let's begin tonight in the world of sport. i don't know if anybody here knows this. i happen to enjoy sport. i like watching other people talk about them. i like listening to people on the radio call in to talk about sports. you know what i do with that knowledge? i make can't-miss bets. you know what i do with my winnings? you think i do nice things with them for society? no. i spend all my gambling winnings on the first commercial i see after a game ends. hello, brooklyn lantern. looks like some people won't have to eat pasta again with a
(cheers and applause) from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. bishop gene robinson is going to be here a all i know about religion is this: apparently he can only move diagonally. that's a chess move, baby. a bishop chess joke. let me just give you my lunch money now. let's begin...
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headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we've got a show for you tonight. going to break the bank. my guest tonight, right here on this stage, should i say a certain boss from n
headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we've got a show for you tonight. going to break the bank. my guest tonight, right here on this stage, should i say a certain boss from n
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Dec 14, 2012
12/12
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[cheers and applause]>> from cod news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." [cheering and applause] [theme music playing] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but let's begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. we've had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to this time of year as the war on christmas where a small band of 70% of the country have fought tirelessly for the right to openly celebrate the feast day of their lord's birth, to have a mass on that day honoring their christ, a mass christ, if you will. [laughter] now, we have poked fun at this, saying such things as, there is no war on christmas or you're [bleeped] crazy. [laughter] classic wit. that was before i realized what these poor folks have been going through. >> this is the thing about atheists, they bully other religions. >> they're trying to put their hands in my religion. >> it's about being intolerant to the nature of
[cheers and applause]>> from cod news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." [cheering and applause] [theme music playing] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but let's begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. we've had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to...
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Dec 19, 2012
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"new york post", are we ready for senator colbert? (cheers and applause) are we ready? well, i get it i get it i know when i look at the u.s. senate. i say to myself, you know what they could use, another white guy. (laughter) so i want you to take to the twitters, okay, take to the twitters. i want you to tweet@nikki-- ask nikki haley why she should appoint me to the u.s. is senate with the hashtag senator colbert. (cheers and applause) s that-- that feels right. now of course we all know jim demint leaves some big shoes to fill. then again-- (cheers and applause) but i'm not surprised that the people want me to have this honor. i've been honored in so many ways. in lego form, in ice cream, in space station treadmill, as a plush hockey mascot. which of course let me realize my dream of having drunk townies throw beer cans at me. but now the ultimate honor has come. being immortallized at madame tussaud's wax museum. they-- i know, i know, it's impressive. they have the world's biggest collection of glassy eyed fake celebrities outside of the bravo network. now -- while
"new york post", are we ready for senator colbert? (cheers and applause) are we ready? well, i get it i get it i know when i look at the u.s. senate. i say to myself, you know what they could use, another white guy. (laughter) so i want you to take to the twitters, okay, take to the twitters. i want you to tweet@nikki-- ask nikki haley why she should appoint me to the u.s. is senate with the hashtag senator colbert. (cheers and applause) s that-- that feels right. now of course we all...